Life at Mach 3
by Taipan Kiryu
Summary: G1. Short stories centered on Starscream, Skywarp and Thundercracker. First story: The Game, the High Grade and the Pink Automobile, or whose exhaust are you thinking about, Thundercracker?


**Life at Mach 3**

**Written by Taipan Kiryu**

_I've been toying for a while with posting my '28 Seekers' version here, but then I realized that it had certain regulations and that I didn't want to attach to them, so at the end I decided to write my own collection of Seeker short stories following no rules. I'll try to be as diverse as I can, so be prepared to see humour, drama, angst, adventure, smut, etc. The only rule I'll follow is that every story will have one chapter length. Updates won't be very often because I have a good amount of unfinished fics that require my attention, but I'll do my best to keep this one flowing too._

_I posted this first chapter in Spanish almost two years ago, but lazy me kept forgetting to translate it to English. But finally I did it, mostly because it happens after my 'Interfacing has no enemies' and before my 'The new orange' fics. It's okay if you haven't read those, you will have no problems understand this short. But if you have, you'll enjoy it better._

_This chapter was not beta read because my friend iratepirate is overseas, so please excuse my grammar mistakes. I'm sure you will find some - quite :oP_

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**Story One**

**The Game, the High Grade and the Pink Automobile**

Nothing disturbed the tranquility of the nocturnal desert. The same coldness, the same motionless cactuses, the same predators searching for preys, the same stars shinning in a cloudless sky…

The same lightning bolt slicing the night in two, roaring its power and its presence to the night.

A second flash of light followed the first one.

"_Ha! You are SO dead, Screamer!"_

Starscream cursed himself inwardly as his radar proved Skywarp right.

"_Not fair! You teleported," _the Air Commander growled through his comm link.

"_You said that this time we could use our special abilities," _Skywarp responded as he was still targeting the tricolored jet ahead of him. For a moment, the black Seeker toyed with the possibility of shooting against his Air Commander for real and painting the dark sky with his colours.

"_Where is Thundercracker?" _Starscream asked.

"_Eight mechano miles behind. I take it he didn't precisely enjoy the dose of null rays you granted him …"_

"_I shot him in mild intensity, and only in response to the sonic boom he unleashed on me first!" _

"_Whatever you say."_

"_Descend. We are ready to initiate phase one."_

Skywarp obeyed and both Seekers transformed into their robotic modes, landing gracefully on the desert's sand.

The dust hadn't dissipated yet when more engines could be heard and the blue and silver figure of Thundercracker made itself visible. He didn't seem to be in any hurry to reunite with his wingmates.

"Last as always, Thundercracker," Starscream sneered as the newcomer transformed and landed on his two feet.

Thundercracker frowned. "I find this practice useless and a complete waste of time and energy."

Skywarp hurried to elbow his wingmate with a little too much excessive force. "Come on, TC! It's not common for Screamer to spend some quality time with us."

"Do you dare to call this stupid game quality time? It may be alright for immature cadets, but not to elite warriors like us. I'm not surprised about 'Warp, but you really lower your standards by accepting to get involved in this, Starscream…"

Starscream smirked. "It's a practice proper of cadets, indeed… but it requires courage and skill, the temple that only a real Decepticon has. But what could be expected from you, Thundercracker? You are not even a _real_ Decepticon…"

"You'll shut the frag up or I'll break your slagging face to pieces, got it?"

"Oh come on, tone down your amplifiers, would you?" Skywarp intervened, placing himself between his two wingmates. Generally, he was always on one of the aggressive sides whenever those quarrels took place, so being the peacemaker, at least for once, made him feel very awkward.

"Say that to your boyfriend," Starscream hissed. "I'm very calmed here."

Skywarp placed his hand on Thundercracker's shoulder. "That's true, TC… Why don't you just relax and enjoy yourself? Come on… I bet you haven't played _The Game _since you were a cadet, right?"

Thundercracker got rid of Skywarp's hand. "'Warp, you know me since we were both cadets at the Military Academy and you should know perfectly well that _The Game_ was never amongst my hobbies."

Starscream sneered. "You don't say…"

Thundercracker forced himself to control the impulse of shooting Starscream to death. "For you fools it might be a diversion, but I saw many Seekers dying because of that stupid nonsense."

Starscream grimaced with contempt. "A fair price to pay if they couldn't handle it. _The Game_ is not only a challenge, but a way to prove a warrior. No Decepticon Seeker can be considered as such if he doesn't finish at least five rounds of _The Game."_

"Well, I never did it."

"You just said it yourself, Thundercracker. What does that make you, then?"

"Are you calling me coward, Starscream?"

"As I said, you just said it yourself."

Once again, Skywarp risked his polished armor by placing himself between both fliers.

"Nobody is a coward here, come on… Do you really need to take things so far, Screamer? We all know that TC's problem is that he can't hold his high grade energon. Is that so bad?"

"Not really," Starscream said as venomously as he could. "Nobody can blame sparklings for being precisely that… sparklings."

"I'm older than you, Starscream!"

"Only three vorns… I'm surprised of your maturity, Thundercracker!"

"If your concept of maturity has to do with getting over-energized until entering stasis lock, then I have it very clear why you have failed so miserably in overthrowing Megatron so many times."

The smirk erased from Starscream's face. "What did you say?"

"You heard me."

The verbal fight would have turned into physical if a strong explosion wouldn't have shaken the ground. A small sand storm covered both Seekers as black smoke kept coming from the hole in the sand between them.

"Skywarp, you moronic idiot! What did you just do?" Starscream yelled.

Skywarp put his hands on his hips proudly. "Are you 'Cons talking about maturity? I'm the youngest of us three and I just ended your domestic quarrel."

"Yes, with a cluster bomb," Thundercracker complained.

"It's already proven that you tinheads don't understand words."

"Look who's talking…"

Skywarp rolled his optics. "Could you stop fighting like a pair of femmes and get back to our business? We only have until dawn to finish _The Game_ and so far we haven't done anything but fooling around."

Starscream folded his arms across his chest. "I'm not the one who is delaying us."

"Fine!" Thundercracker gave up. "I'll do it, but I want to let it very clear that it will be completely unfair to me! You screwheads know what high grade does to my systems!"

Skywarp smirked. "How about this? Screamer and I will drink an entire cube each, and you will take only a quarter of a cube."

"Mm… It's not a bad idea but still…"

"Oh, for the fragging Matrix!" Starscream bellowed. "Why don't you take the eight part of a cube, then? Or better, the hundredth part?"

"I will drink that quarter of a cube, alright? Let's finish this once and for all!"

Skywarp cheered as he subspaced three compressed high grade cubes from his cockpit. "Good for you, TC! Okay, then… down to the bottom! Screamer, you and I will take care of the remains of TC's cube."

Starscream violently grabbed the black Seeker's arm. "That's fine with me. And Skywarp? If you want to see another dawn, you better stop calling me Screamer!"

"Uh… sure, Screamer."

Starscream shook his head but didn't say anything else on the matter.

The three Seekers lifted their cubes and clinked them in an emblematic toast. Starscream and Skywarp emptied the contents of their cubes as if they were drinking average energon, but Thundercracker couldn't repress a small shiver once he finished his smaller ration.

"Good," Skywarp said. "Screamer, you are the trine leader. It's your right to choose the first challenge."

Starscream rubbed his chin. "Let's start with something easy. Containment maneuver seven-three, with a 56.2 degrees twist to the right."

"Sounds good to me. TC?"

"Whatever."

"Let's get to the air then, ladies!" Starscream said as he jumped, ignited his thrusters and transformed. "Keep triangle formation all the time! The one who crashes, loses!"

Skywarp and Thundercracker followed, each with a radically different degree of enthusiasm, but with the same potency on their engines.

* * *

If any Autobot would have been spying the movements of the deadliest trine of the Decepticon army that night, he would have been highly surprised with its flight patterns.

At first sight, the whole spectacle would have looked like a simple practice of high speed maneuvers and evasive routines, but if said Autobot would have analyzed the execution of the practice more thoroughly, he would have noticed that every time the three Decepticons got to the air after having spent a couple of terrestrial minutes on land, their skills seemed to be more erratic. The empty cubes abandoned on the ground would have explained many things.

No ordinary Cybertronian flier would have thought about challenging the skies with high grade energon circulating through their systems. But nobody would have dared to classify those Seekers as ordinary fliers.

For more than two terrestrial hours, Starscream, Skywarp and Thundercracker executed some of their most dangerous maneuvers, each one more difficult than the previous one, and they did it in an over-energized state that only changed to increase.

The mechanics of _The Game _were quite simple. After drinking a high grade energon cube, one maneuver was chosen. The contestants executed it and landed to repeat the cycle again. The trine leader always had the privilege of doing the first election, but the rest of the challenges were chosen by the Seeker that ended his respective energon cube first. _The privilege of the drunk, _some Transformers used to call it, freely using terms such as savage and uncivilized to address _The Game_, mostly because deep inside they wish they had the courage to play it.

_The Game _always ended the same: with one or all the Seekers involved in critical state due to the collisions and falls. Many times they didn't even survive, which almost happened when Starscream and Thundercracker almost had a frontal crash at Mach 3. Even though a last astro klik maneuver from Starscream prevented the disaster, both Seekers collapsed to the ground, accompanied by the sonorous guffaws of Skywarp.

Starscream transformed into his robotic mode and managed to land with some dignity on his two feet before falling to his knees, whilst Thundercracker, still on his jet mode, simply crashed on his nosecone against a big dune. Fortunately for him, he had considerably decreased his speed at the time of the impact.

Still laughing, Skywarp transformed and landed in front of Starscream, making sure to cover his fallen comrade with as much sand as he could.

"Yes! Eat my dust, Screamer! You and TC are a couple of pathetic losers! I won!"

Starscream protected his face with his hands from the cloud of sand that engulfed him. He would need a very thorough cleaning session once they were back in the Nemesis.

"Not yet!" he complained, doing his best effort to hide his obvious drunkenness. "Decompress more cubes, Skywarp! I will choose the next challenge."

"Admit that you lost, Screamer. We have no time left for more challenges. Besides, we are out of high grade… Hey, TC? How are you doing down there?" Skywarp asked, heading toward the dune in which the blue and grey jet still was half buried.

Thundercracker didn't respond but slowly transformed into his robotic mode and started to crawl, completely oblivious of the presence of his two wingmates.

"At least he's still functioning… What about you, Screamer? How over-energized you are?"

"I don't know…" Starscream sincerely responded.

"I have to be sure… How many fingers do you see?" Skywarp said, showing Starscream the middle finger of his right hand.

Starscream wasn't drunk enough as to not recognize the human's favorite obscene gesture.

"Hey!" Skywarp shouted as he dodged the fist that targeted his face.

Both Seekers started to violently push each other until they heard a strong metallic sound.

Starscream glanced toward the origin of the sound as Skywarp focused his attention on the now lonely dune.

"Where is TC?" he asked.

Starscream pointed ahead of him. About a hundred mechano meters away, the metallic grid of some used automobile storage unit was down.

"Eh… Are we in a human civilian area? I didn't notice…" Skywarp said.

"You are too over-energized to notice anything, you idiot. Let's get Thundercracker out of there before the Autobots show their ugly bumpers."

Both Seekers ran toward the fallen metallic grid. Starscream tripped twice but Skywarp didn't seem to be drunk at all, honouring his fame of being an unbeatable drinker.

They didn't have any difficulty to locate Thundercracker next to some human vehicles. He was still on his hands and knees, and it was very obvious he couldn't get up by himself.

"I think TC is beyond his limits… You will have to carry him back, Screamer. I don't think he will be able to fly by himself."

"Me? No slagging way!"

"May I remind you that you are supposed to be our leader? TC and I are your responsibility. If you return without one of us, Megatron will use your aft to feed the Sharkticons, even if the poor junk piles catch a huge indigestion."

"Don't forget to notify me the moment to laugh, Skywarp, because that has to be the worst joke you have made in the last two… breems. Since you are the less over-energized of us, you will carry Thundercracker back. And that is an order!"

Starscream and Skywarp walked toward their fallen wingmate, never stopping arguing. Thundercracker remained on his fours, his glance fixated on something ahead of him. He didn't even notice when his two wingmates grabbed each one of his arms and lifted him up.

"Hello, is there a processor working inside there, TC?" Skywarp laughed as he poked his friend's helm.

"He's lost it. Let's get the slag out of here. All my hydraulics are aching," Starscream complained.

"Femmes…"

Starscream and Skywarp stopped by instinct the ignition of their thrusters and stared at their drunk wingmate.

"What did you say?" Starscream asked.

"Femmes…" Thundercracker repeated, pointing with his shivering hand ahead of him.

His wingmates' glances followed the direction. If for a fleeting moment they had thought they would find the so desired female presence, the sight of a bunch of simple terrestrial vehicles hurried to break the charm.

"Nothing but human junk," Starscream snorted.

Skywarp laughed. "Whoa… you're worse than I thought, TC… Do you really see girls in those junk piles?"

"Femmes…" Thundercracker kept saying as he started to advance toward his objective, dragging his two wingmates with him.

"Hey, cool it down, TC! What do you think you're doing?"

"We're leaving right now, Thundercracker. Desist, it's an order!"

"I don't think he's listening to you, Screamer…"

"Shut up and help me to control him. I'm too over-energized and I can't stop him by myself."

"And do you think I'm in better shape than you? Just because I don't look like it, doesn't mean I'm not completely wasted … Besides, TC is stronger than you and me, you know that."

"Enough, Thundercracker! Keep resisting and I'll consider this insubordination, I'm warning you!"

Thundercracker's answer was shaking himself so violently that he almost sent his two wingmates to the ground.

"Hey, take it easy!" Skywarp cried as he tried to remain standing.

"You stop this right now or I'll shoot you a null ray, you idiot!" Starscream said whilst he pointed his arm-mounted cannons to his erratic wingmate.

But Thundercracker wasn't listening. He continued his slow but decided walk toward his objective, whatever it was, oblivious to the two Seekers who were trying to stop him.

"Listen, TC… Those are no real femmes, just a bunch of domestic human vehicles… They don't have life, even less a pleasure port… 'Sides, can't you see their modes? Even if they were Cybertronian, they would be Autobots, see?"

"Oh, slag…" Starscream said.

Skywarp stared at him. "What is it?"

"Don't you feel it? Thundercracker's temperature is increasing…"

"It must be the high grade…"

"No, you moron! Can't you hear his spark chamber humming?"

Skywarp burst in laughter. "Oh slag, it's true! TC… you're really getting horny, aren't you? And all because of human vehicles… Vector Sigma, I'm about to purge my entire fuel tanks! This is too funny!"

Once again, Thundercracker ignored his wingmates and pointed one trembling finger ahead.

"Elita…" he murmured.

Starscream and Skywarp immediately fixated their optic sensors in the direction their wingmate was pointing. At the center of the automobile lot, a small and shinny pink sedan stood out under the moonlight.

"Elita?" Starscream asked, frowning. "As in Elita One?"

Skywarp smirked. "Mmmh… you can't deny there is some resemblance… A lot of resemblance, actually. Hey, do you guys know what would be funny? To send this image to Optimus Prime, tell him that we have captured his precious girlfriend and that we are giving her a good piece of Decepticon Seeker."

"If you value your life so little, do it," Starscream said.

"Elita!" Thundercracker suddenly yelled, startling his two wingmates.

"Easy, TC!" Skywarp said. "That's not Elita One, just some stupid human car. Although, if she were Cybertronian, I would ask her out, I admit it."

Starscream smirked and rubbed his chin. "Wait… this is interesting. Are you saying you actually feel attracted by the Autobot female leader, Thundercracker? Are you aware that this could be considered as treason?"

Skywarp rolled his optics. "Treason? Oh, please… you see treason everywhere except in your Primus slagged mirror, don't you? 'Sides, wanting to frag an enemy is not treason, it's more like exotic. I mean, none of us can afford the luxury of despising the curves of a female, even though Autobot… girls are so scarce these days!"

Starscream scowled. "Speak for yourself, Skywarp. I would never lower myself with some filthy Autobot whore. If you or Thundercracker had betrayed the Decepticon cause because you can't keep your spark chambers closed, you'll regret it."

"Sure… whatever you say, sweetspark. Now you're going to tell me that you have never plugged and played with an Autobot chic…"

"I don't owe you any explanations, but that's the case."

Skywarp smirked. "I hate to remind you about former times of glory, but do you remember all your war trophies?"

"That's not the same. I simply exercised my legitimate rights over female prisoners."

"Prisoners that happened to be Autobots."

"They were neutrals!"

"Neutrals with an Autobot brand, you mean? I'm sure I saw the red insignia on the one that had you on her knees and was spanking the slag out of you back in Iacon—"

Starscream interrupted his wingmate with a violent shove. "You're going to shut your fraggin' vocalizer up or I'll tear it apart, Skywarp! How the slag did you know that?"

"Advantages of being a teleporter… But my point is that you seemed very comfortable with Autobot femmes and so were they with you, for some weird reason... Hey, maybe they're attracted to junk!"

"If the female Autobots liked junk, they would have certainly preferred your company, Skywarp… And no! I'm not into Autobots! As I said, I was only exercising my right over war prisoners and that's the end of this discussion!"

"Whatever you say…"

"Besides, this is not about me but your friend and his twisted fantasies."

Thundercracker had remained quiet during the previous discussion, but, as in cue, he suddenly shook so violently that he managed to get rid of his wingmates' grip. Curiously, he also managed to remain on his two feet. Lust was a powerful thing.

"But what the slag is wrong with you, Thundercracker?" Starscream cried, punching the blue Seeker on one arm.

Skywarp shrugged his shoulders. "Yeah, why are you so obsessed with Elita One? It's not like you have actually fragged with her."

An unusual, very wicked smile appeared on Thundercracker's face plates.

"No slaggin' way…" Skywarp hissed, shaking his head slowly.

Starscream snorted. "You are so full of slag."

Thundercracker said nothing but continued smirking.

"Wait, time out!" Skywarp cried, raising his hands. "Are you actually saying that you interfaced with Elita One? As in Optimus Prime's bondmate?"

Thundercracker laughed softly. His optics remained fixed on the pink sedan before him.

"You're lying," Starscream stated. "Everybody knows that Elita One and Optimus Prime have been bonded for thousands of vorns."

Skywarp folded his arms across his chest. "Mm, well, Autobot girls are easy… They just have to see a Decepticon seeker and their pleasure ports start to lubricate by themselves."

Starscream smirked. "Yes, but not their leader. Elita is a forbidden treat."

"Not that forbidden if TC fragged her."

"Don't be naïve, Skywarp. Of course he didn't."

Skywarp palmed his best friend's shoulder with so much force that he almost sent him to the ground. "So, TC? Did you or did you not give Elita One something to remember?"

"A gentlebot has no memory," Thundercracker said seriously, as serious as he could be as he was more over-energized than he had ever been.

"This is ridiculous! I'm done with this nonsense! We are heading back to the Nemesis right now. I still have to decide if I'll consider this talk as high treason or not."

"You are really an annoying diva sometimes, Screamer, did you know that?"

"What the slag is that supposed to mean?"

A metallic sound ended the discussion. Both Starscream and Skywarp turned to their blue wingmate at the same time, noticing that he had reached his pink objective.

"Thundercracker…" Starscream said carefully. "Did you just open your spark chamber?"

Skywarp burst in laughter. "That's precisely what he did! Way to go, TC! Show that Autobot who's boss!"

"That is no Autobot and stop encouraging him, Skywarp!"

With his chest compartment completely opened and his hard mechhood exhibited, Thundercracker started to caress the objective of his lust.

"Oh for the fraggin' Primary Program… Close your spark chamber right now, Thundercracker, it's an order! You are making a fool of yourself!" Starscream cried.

"Let him be, Screamer," Skywarp managed to say as he laughed. "If he needs some release, just let him have it."

"With a human vehicle?"

"It's so funny, slag it… Primus, I have to record this for posterity!"

"Can't you take anything seriously, you worthless piece of scrap? Don't you understand that this humiliating spectacle also degrade us? I curse the moment in which you two morons were assigned to my trine!"

"We love you too, Screamer. Heh, you know, I was thinking… if TC wants to frag something so desperately, maybe you should help him. I won't say a word, I swear."

"What the… Are you out of your mind, you idiot? I'm not going to interface Thundercracker!"

"Why not? It's not like you don't do mechs… Remember that time when we were stationed in Altihex?"

Embarrassment shaded Starscream's face plates. "I… don't know what the slag you are talking about."

"Whatever you say, sweetspark. If you say you didn't put me on my back and called me Megatron, then I guess I'll have to believe you, huh?"

High grade evaporated from Starscream's systems, victim of the overwhelming shame that spread through his processor. He stammered toward Thundercracker and seized him by one arm. "Just… stop talking nonsense and help me to get this moron out of here."

Skywarp shrugged his shoulders but obeyed. He grabbed Thundercracker's other arm, interrupting his more than suggestive caresses on the pink sedan.

Starscream was almost thrown to the ground when Thundercracker started to struggle violently. "That is not Elita, you fraggin' idiot! Why can't you understand it?"

Skywarp glanced mischievously at Thundercracker's erected interface cable. "Have you noticed how big TC is, Screamer? And being this horny doesn't do anything to reduce his dimensions… I still think you should give him some."

"If you want so much to release him you should do it yourself, Skywarp!"

"I would do it, but I'm afraid TC would kill afterwards…"

"I'm done with all this nonsense, Skywarp, I mean it! We are returning to headquarters now! Back off, I'll calm him down with a null ray."

"Are you insane? He's completely wasted! Do you have any idea of what your null rays would do to his systems?"

Starscream forced himself not to shoot Skywarp instead. "Fine… What do you suggest then, genius?"

Skywarp smirked. "Why don't we just let him do what he wants? See that human vehicle? It has an exhaust, right?"

"You are such a pervert… What you suggest is disgusting."

"Why? That looks like a pleasure port to me… All I'm saying that TC can plug in himself there for a while and he'll be done."

A new metallic sound proved how accurately the over-energized Thundercracker had found the exhaust on the pink sedan and was about to test his mechhood on it.

The new bizarre sight finished making up Starscream's mind. "That's enough. Get him!"

* * *

Five minutes later, two very beaten Seekers were flying in bipedal mode, carrying a third one, his arms limp over his wingmate's shoulders.

"Heh," Skywarp laughed. "We were lucky TC passed out. For a moment I thought he would frag us both."

"And you certainly wouldn't have liked that, now would you?" Starscream said with a scowl.

"I actually think _you_ would have liked it… But you're such a killjoy, Screamer. You should have allowed TC to have his way with that car. Now he'll be so frustrated when he wakes up."

"You and your idiotic friend can frag each other or as many human machines as you want in your spare time, but not under my watch."

"Whatever you say, sweetspark… But hey, where are we going? This is not the route to the base."

"I know. Our destination is the Space Bridge… and don't call me sweetspark!"

"You seemed to like it that time in Altihex… But wait, why are we heading to the Space Bridge?"

"We are going to Kaon, to the best pleasure house we can find. It's proven how abstinence makes Thundercracker a very… dangerous mech."

"Now you're talking, Screamer! I could definitely use some female action, now that you mention it..." Skywarp blinked an optic seductively to his Air Commander. "Although I wouldn't mind some of _your _action again, sweetspark. You were not that bad in that trench in Altihex…"

"Oh for Unicron's sake! Are you going to remind me that for the rest of our lives?"

"Forgive me if I'm not Megatron, you literal slag-sucker!"

"Say that again and I'll fraggin' kill you!"

The three winged figures lost themselves within the dawn as the first sun rays started to shine over the pink sedan left behind, inanimate envy of thousands of femmes.

* * *

_So that was the first story. I hope you enjoyed it. As I said, updates won't be that frequent, but I'll do my best. Please let me know your opinions._

_I also want to make a little announcement here: I'll be updating my fic 'Deviant' next week. I can't believe how much I have been neglecting it! Thanks to the kind readers who wrote me to give me a very well needed kick in the aft ;o)_


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